Beer Open 2021

(Written by Chris Prouty)
Big Hitter the Llama - 12:30p

Craig Gantar, John Prouty, Karl Krewenka, Jim Gotti

We kind of failed ourselves this year. We have three teams with three Beer players but no team with four, as is tradition. So the committee is gonna squint tightly and cover one eye and choose to grant Gotti honorary Beer player status for about 6 hours on Saturday for his valiant Gazebo service so long ago. Don’t let it go to your head Gotti. The Long Drive winner is definitely in this group. I am going out on a limb and saying the closest to the pin winner is here too. Yeah. I said it. Out loud and everything. Their Odds? Not great. Daddy isn’t driving, the Coach is.

Odds: 13-1

No Longer On My Own - 12:40p

Justin O'Reilly, Scott Cischke, Tim Scott, Mike Matykiewicz

O’Reilly is a Beer Open veteran. He got pulled in years ago as part of a North OP team. His email got lodged into the vast BO goldbergian machinery, like a poppy seed in the molars of a giant. He kept getting invited, kept showing up, and kept being the rando on teams needing a fourth. Fun? Well duh, yeah. But he wanted, he needed, a team of his own. Well this is the year. His team is stacked with… three two other dudes who know Justin from outside of the Beer Open. Welcome to the Open rookies! We now have your email addresses too….

Odds: 9-2

Bi-Curious 12:50p

Brando Bilbrey, Chris Marinelli, Michael Marinelli, Jason Marinelli

I told these Italians the BI stands for Blatantly Italian. Italians != Smart. Per usual, see Goose for the ‘which hole does Brando take his shirt off and try to dry hump whichever Marinelli is closest to him’ bets. Always a hot market.

Odds: 13 Million to 1

Whiskey A Go Go 1:00p

Brian Byrne, Dan Zarzynski, Mike Colgan, Dave Zarzynski

Byrne’s + Father-in-law have very quietly, but very surely become a Beer Open staple. They are on a glide path to becoming even quieter legends. They have pulled a pair of brothers (assumed, could be cousins, who knows) into our swirling vortex of debauchery.

Odds: 27-2

Bayern United 1:10p

Todd Weiss, Tom Melzl, Buddy Lee, Darren Tait

I would seriously worry about Darren’s composure having to play with Captain Chirpy ‘I’m a Germany Fan, oh wait, they lost, I am now an Italy Fan’ Melzl right after a Xhaka-esque United loss. But, while Football did not come Home this summer, Ronny did. D will be all smiles all day.

Odds: 11-1

Obscure Genesis Album Title Joke That No One Will Get 1:20p

Fphil De Craene, Chris Prouty, Bill Bush, Mark Moroney

Poor Fphil, gets saddled with me again this year. He carried me all through my 20s and now he needs to carry me in the BO two years in a row. Thankfully he has a new knee. Wait, new hip? One of those. Jesus we are old. Whatever, point of story is that Fphil is Fphucked and so is this team.

Odds: 1400-1

Holy Fuck Jay 1:30p

Geoff Adair, Dave Bennett, Cam Phelps, Brendan McLaughlin

We really only have a few rules for the BO. Have fun, get drunk, take an Uber. Ok. We have a few more. If you win, show the fuck back up with your winning 4some the next year. When you don’t, we break you up. We are not vindictive, just assholes. That said this group is the lightest dark horse in the BO ever. But it all falls apart when Bennett tells Brendo he is lining his putts up wrong on the 5th hole.

Odds: 2-1

It is a Baby Whale 1:40p

Roger Rhomberg, Chris Marzec, Eric Burns, Paul Del Aguila

Here is the other half of the defending champs plus 2 Beer LEGENDS (notice: not golf legends). When Village Idiot Wysockey (MIT, SchmemIT) had better things to do on Beer Open Saturday, the champs tried to replace him with Super Athlete Marzec. Not cool. Not cool at all. Only people who organize the BO are allowed to stack their teams that much. So yeah. We showed you.

Odds: 4-1