Beer Open 2025

Noon - Line Call
Chris Marinelli, Michael Marinelli, Jason Gelfo-Klein, Tim Hutchings
Last year these guys were the pace car at our little race of golf. That worked out pretty well for the organizer so we are running it back. No Brando this year, so the odds for Nips-on-18 are down, but, like, not to zero percent chance.  
115-1

1210p - CoFO 2025
Beh Afshar, Christopher Honold, John Storrs, Benton Zeiser
In preparation for this year's event, I did some historical digging.  The TNT boys have quite the track record, both for appearances and for some famous victories - including 2 in a row in the dark days of 2015/2016.  They took a breather last year.  Regroup, restrategize, pick up a new horse.  They are back and, maybe it's the nostalgia talking, I like their chances.  Welcome back boys!  You get the Favorites tag!
3-2

1220p - The (New) Tragically Hip
Wil Van Alsburg, Jerry Brankin, Nick Ciko, Craig Gantar
Poor Beav.  He used to be a champion.  A CHAMPION!  He also used to climb water towers drunk.  Anyway, since he has gotten saddled with Goose, it just has been one disappointment after....wait.  They won this thing 2 years ago?  Whatever.  Fake news.  Probably didn't really happen.  Goose needs a new hip.  Brankin needs a new partner.  Ciko and Wil are wondering how they go caught in the crossfire.
114-1

1230p - Lemonade Stand
Brian Byrne, Ricardo Ciaccio, Karl Krewenka, Rob T
Oh man.  Karl is still bitter.  Every year I fuck him with awful partners.  Every year, tears.  Then last year he does the end around and brings D3 Mitch!  An early tee time!  They were the leaders in the clubhouse!  Then I fucked him again.  Ok.  It was Scibek who did the important bit of fucking. But still. Karl's tears tasted oh so sweet!  If there is any justice, Rob T plays on the Asia Tour and is going to fuck shit up.
9-2

1240p - The Straw That Stirs the Shit
Pat Collins, Lee Erwin, Tom Melzl, Todd Weiss
Speaking of recurring themes....  is he German?  Is he Italian?  All a matter of convenience.  What he is, is Angry.  And almost always Angry At Darren.  So it goes.  Here we are again, Tommy has bound together a team with Anger Tape.  Like Duct Tape, but like red and burning and sizzling (see?  see what I did there?) and worse.  Only Mr. Focus is keeping their odds in a respectable zone.
17-2

1250p - BBADCBMAV
Bill Bush, Andrew De Craene, Brendan McLaughlin, Andrew Volckens
Speaking of originality, see what I did with their team name?  Yeah.  I'm losing the plot, running out of ideas.  Bush isn't though.  Playing the best golf of his life.  Volckens?  Don't ask.  He doesn't practice and doesn't shoot over 75 when it matters.  Fphil is like mostly made of refurbished car parts these days.  But they are, you know, really nicely refurbished and glued on tight.  When they come in at 19 under on the front side, I'm gonna have John Prouty count the clubs in Brendan's bag.  No way he is under 20 (is that a 7 wood Brendan? 2 putters?  really?).  This team would be the favorites, but I am preemptively disqualifying them out of spite.  And fear.
1.51-1

100p - Like Croquet?  No!
Chris Cobb, Mike Cooney, John Prouty, TR Sweinsberger
We did a real bad job of scaring Cooney away.  He came back for more!  Reminds me of that Robin Williams bit on golf (link).  Go ahead.  Go watch it.  It's Mork, totally worth your time.   You're back?  Good.  I'm glad you found something funny in this email.  Really no idea what to make of this team.  Couple mysteries here.  JP always brings it.  I don't like how he smartened up and did not invite Hunter back on to his team.  I guess I will give this my 'F if I know' line and hope it doesn't haunt me.
4-1

110p - Trunk Slammers of the World Unite!
Brad Hunter, Mark Menacho, Kevin Sarsany, Darren Tait
Hunter also got his first taste of the Open last year thanks to JP.  He too wants more.  First one is always free.  Anyway, he is flying in Saturday morning and will be showing up just in time for his tee time.  Or...  might join up on the third hole.  Whatever.  He's mostly worthless on a golf course anyway, more of a clubhouse guy.  Sarsany and Darren on the other hand?  Not worthless.  Sarsany is so good he refuses to recognize one of his BO championships ('I didn't beat any Proutys, where is the fun in that?').  So just in case Brad does show up....  I sadled them with the guy who owns a charcuterie board just for weed.
3-1

120p - House Money
Tom Canepa, Chris Prouty, Jim Scibek, Dave Willsey
The trophy will be riding in these guys' cart.  They say the Senate is the greatest club in the world to be a member of.  Pshaw.  Maybe.  But they let 100 people into that.  Current BO Champs?  Only ever 4 of those.  But, given every dumb thing that could go right did go right for this group last year (it was really magical, sorry Karl!), no fucking way they repeat.  None.  We are ready for new members of the best club on the planet.
111-1